As children, we were constantly told to "be quiet", "be seen and not heard", "do as you're told", "get out of my way", "can't you see I'm busy" — and a thousand other things that squelched, and eventually destroyed, that youthful enthusiasm. We learned very early on to stuff those emotions in order to be "good little children" for the adult in control. As we grew, this desire to be "good" extended to friends, then teachers and finally spouses.

Now that we are adults, we search for the cause of our deep-seated unhappiness. This is clearly evidenced by the numbers of people in counseling, therapy, on mood-altering drugs, and those immersed in spirit work on the metaphysical level. We are all trying to deal with that sweet little inner child. Why isn't it working? Because, my friends, the problem is not with that sweet inner child. The problem lies with the dark side of that child who is still raging, and who is still bound and gagged and not allowed to surface.

We need to bring that angry child filled with hate, resentment, and every other negative emotion to the surface, and allow it to vent its feelings. Bottled up anger, in all its forms, will make you ill - physically, emotionally and psychologically. Anger and hostility will attack every organ and bodily function you have, and will eventually kill you if not dealt with.

Thank goodness you don't have those problems you say. Really? You've never felt anger? a flash of hatred? jealousy? envy? resentment? rebellion? hurt feelings? Sorry — I don't believe you. The question is not which of these feelings you have experienced, but HOW YOU DEALT WITH THEM. Were you strong and silent, and just ignored them? Then you didn't deal with them at all. You merely stuffed them deep inside your heart where they continue to fester like open sores in your spirit.

On the other side of this coin are those who live on the hair trigger of open rage. These are the people who are very nice and cordial to those they work with, and those in positions of control and authority over them, but who put their families and those close to them through a living Hell. These are the screamers who never learned to speak in a calm and rational manner; the control freaks who must dominate every single life situation; the abusive personalities who strike first and ask questions later. These are the dangerous ones in society who open fire in the work place, who kill those who interefere with them, who beat and mutilate the innocent and the weak.

Both of these personality types suffer the same condition: being consumed by the fires of extreme passion that are destroying their lives and their spirits. To become a Firewalker is to learn to cool the burning edges of this passion in order to deal with events in a rational manner. If you are willing to examine yourself with honesty, and bring that passion to the surface, there are some simple steps you can take which will vent those emotions without damage to others.

Go alone to a deserted location; a spot that gives you peace. This could be in the desert, or in the woods or by the sea. It doesn't matter. Sit quietly and go as far back in your memory as you can. Bring up an incident from your past that caused you real pain. Out loud, speak your true feelings to the person who caused this pain. Talk, yell, scream, pound the earth, stamp your feet, throw things - whatever you feel like doing. SCREAM your frustration and your emotions to the wind. Cry. Bring it all up to the light of day. Give it life — give it air — give it honest and true emotion — and get rid of it. You will be exhausted, but you will be free of that one incident. It will no longer haunt you. Do this as often as you can, and you will be surprised at the new, calm feelings you will begin to experience. Can't do this, you say? It's NOT NICE. Hmmmmm.

Then try this one. Take some empty cans - any kind of cans. Go back in your memory to find an incident. Take a marker, and write on each can the name of the person who caused the pain. Take the cans into the back yard, or garage or basement or whatever you have, get a hammer and beat the daylights out of it. With each blow, TALK to that person. Tell them what they have done and how it made you feel, and how you have carried that memory all your life. Let the emotions flow. You will be drained, but you will feel better. Can't do that one either? TOO NOISY? Oh, my.

O.K. How about this? Write your memories. If you use a computer, perfect, but be sure to print it. If not, do it in handwriting. Don't worry about grammar, or spelling or anything but getting that emotion on paper. Talk it out loud while you write. When you're finished, read the entire paper aloud to yourself. Then tear it into very tiny pieces, put in in some type of metal container and BURN IT. Can't do that either? Don't like to write? Fires are dangerous? GIVE ME A BREAK, HERE.

If none of the above work for you, then take a pillow. Get a fabric you can't stand the touch of, in a color that you really hate. Cover the pillow with the fabric. Now, don't tell me you can't sew! Pin it on. Get a memory, get a name, and tell the pillow its name. Then punch it, throw it, kick it, stomp on it — do whatever you want to it that doesn't destroy it. This is especially good for children. It will let them get rid of their frustrations and anger without doing damage to anything or anyone. It will also teach them to vent their feelings without cramming them inside to punish their adult lives. If you can't do this one, then you're not capable of helping yourself. You should seek professional help.

Try all of the above exercises to find the one that gives you the greatest feeling of relief and satisfaction. Any time you begin to feel these emotions over new situations which arise, DO IT. Stop the practice of denying they exist, or that you feel strong reactions to people and their actions. Get it out. Vent it. You will be healthier. You are becoming a Firewalker.
 

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E-Mail to Julia  may be sent to meyna@mindspring.com