The Healing Lodge Honoring Elders -- A Mother's Courage It occurs to me that 45 years ago, my mother, then 15 years old was faced with the abortion decision; so young and pregnant...and facing whether or not she would become a mother. Back in 1952 there were no other options for "abortion" than to go to somewhere like NY...and have one, illegaly and dangerously...or move to another state until "After IT was all over with". My mother was an aspiring track star, and could have accomplished much with her talents. She could have been an Olympic Gold Medal Holder. However, she CHOSE, obviously, to have me. For that I am ever thankful. However, there were complications; many along the way that she had to face. These must have been things she needed to learn along this route she chose. I was born prematurely, when my mother had only just turned 6 months pregnant. I weighed in at 2 lbs. and 15 oz. That many years ago, I was considered a MIRACLE BABY. I was transported from one hospital to another in a baby shoe box with hot water bottles surrounding it. There were no such things as portable incubators 45 years ago. I was in the hospital for 3 months, during which time my mother was never allowed to touch me. Some say the "bonding" did not take place. Maybe the initial bonding didn't, but "a bonding" DID take place. My mother was told that I would die very young, never have children, would have bad eyes and bad teeth...and the end product of what I would become would be sad indeed. Today I am 45 years old, have a wonderful 19 year old daughter, and am forever grateful that my mother chose to keep me alive. Now, I won't lie and say there were not times when I "wished" it different. I think those are the times I loose FAITH in myself, and in others as well. When I realize I am still alive and still facing every day, I begin looking for new challeneges to "keep me going". In 1987, I was put into the hospital for a lung surgery, was given 5 units of blood. One or more of them were tainted with the Terminal Disease Hepatitis C. That was ten years ago...and the progression of my disease has moved much faster than the doctors had thought that it would. Two months ago, we found out that I was in the last stages of Cirrhosis of the Liver. Stage 4, Grade 4 Cirrhosis. Now this was NOT an easy pill to swallow. One that quite honestly I am still having problems dealing with. However, the experiences that I am going through with myself and with those that love me, I wouldn't TRADE for ANYTHING!!! They are teaching me so much about me. I have much changing to do before I leave this earth. I feel that if my mother had gotten rid of me, I would never have been able to learn these things...things that I am passing on to my daughter, and my spouse and my friends. I guess I believe the old adage..."ALL things work for GOOD...to those who LOVE...(the scripture says the Lord here)...but you fill in the blank for youself. Photo Courtesy of the National Geographic, January 1997, Our Man In China. Prior Story The Healing Lodge Main Page Next Story Innerspace Main Page Modifications and maintenance by Wicked Imaging E-Mail to Julia
My mother was an aspiring track star, and could have accomplished much with her talents. She could have been an Olympic Gold Medal Holder. However, she CHOSE, obviously, to have me. For that I am ever thankful.
However, there were complications; many along the way that she had to face. These must have been things she needed to learn along this route she chose. I was born prematurely, when my mother had only just turned 6 months pregnant. I weighed in at 2 lbs. and 15 oz. That many years ago, I was considered a MIRACLE BABY. I was transported from one hospital to another in a baby shoe box with hot water bottles surrounding it. There were no such things as portable incubators 45 years ago.
I was in the hospital for 3 months, during which time my mother was never allowed to touch me. Some say the "bonding" did not take place. Maybe the initial bonding didn't, but "a bonding" DID take place.
My mother was told that I would die very young, never have children, would have bad eyes and bad teeth...and the end product of what I would become would be sad indeed.
Today I am 45 years old, have a wonderful 19 year old daughter, and am forever grateful that my mother chose to keep me alive. Now, I won't lie and say there were not times when I "wished" it different. I think those are the times I loose FAITH in myself, and in others as well. When I realize I am still alive and still facing every day, I begin looking for new challeneges to "keep me going".
In 1987, I was put into the hospital for a lung surgery, was given 5 units of blood. One or more of them were tainted with the Terminal Disease Hepatitis C. That was ten years ago...and the progression of my disease has moved much faster than the doctors had thought that it would. Two months ago, we found out that I was in the last stages of Cirrhosis of the Liver. Stage 4, Grade 4 Cirrhosis. Now this was NOT an easy pill to swallow. One that quite honestly I am still having problems dealing with. However, the experiences that I am going through with myself and with those that love me, I wouldn't TRADE for ANYTHING!!! They are teaching me so much about me. I have much changing to do before I leave this earth.
I feel that if my mother had gotten rid of me, I would never have been able to learn these things...things that I am passing on to my daughter, and my spouse and my friends. I guess I believe the old adage..."ALL things work for GOOD...to those who LOVE...(the scripture says the Lord here)...but you fill in the blank for youself.