The Grief Wheel - Denial A major traumatic event has just crashed into your life. It can take many forms: your child on drugs; divorce; death; loss of a job; illness - all things that you cannot plan for, anticipate and/or control. If you're like the majority of the population, your immediate reaction is "NO! This is not happening to me." If you continue with this train of thought, you are surely courting disaster. Rather, sit quietly and calmly and take stock of the situation. Has this thing indeed happened? Are others involved or affected by this? Is there evidence outside of your own mind and emotions that this is an event in the real world that has actually taken place, or is about to? If the incident is indeed real, and not something you have conjured up in your own mind, sit calmly with pen and paper and write out your feelings. Ignoring the situation will not make it go away. Pretending it doesn't exist will not diminish its impact. Telling yourself that someone else will handle it sets your feet on the road to more unhappiness. First of all, examine your initial reaction - "This is not happening to ME". What's wrong with that reaction? You have only one thought...yourself. Before true recovery can begin, you must look outside of yourself. Analyze this happening in a very cold and methodical way: Is this something you can change? If so, do it. If you cannot change it, can you ease the burden on others? Are you willing to put forth that effort? Are you strong enough? Self-less enough? Who are the people involved in this? What is the worst possible outcome of this occurrence? Is there something good that can evolve? Most important of all, don't stuff your emotions, reactions and fears inside. Bring them to the full light of day. Examine the situation and your reaction to it. Deal with it! Acknowledge it! Confront it! Once you have admitted to yourself that this is real, you are ready to progress to the next quadrant on the Grief Wheel. Next time: Anger Re-Creating You Main Page Innerspace Main Page Modifications and Maintenance by Wicked Imaging E-Mail to Julia
A major traumatic event has just crashed into your life. It can take many forms: your child on drugs; divorce; death; loss of a job; illness - all things that you cannot plan for, anticipate and/or control. If you're like the majority of the population, your immediate reaction is "NO! This is not happening to me." If you continue with this train of thought, you are surely courting disaster. Rather, sit quietly and calmly and take stock of the situation.
Has this thing indeed happened? Are others involved or affected by this? Is there evidence outside of your own mind and emotions that this is an event in the real world that has actually taken place, or is about to?
If the incident is indeed real, and not something you have conjured up in your own mind, sit calmly with pen and paper and write out your feelings. Ignoring the situation will not make it go away. Pretending it doesn't exist will not diminish its impact. Telling yourself that someone else will handle it sets your feet on the road to more unhappiness.
First of all, examine your initial reaction - "This is not happening to ME". What's wrong with that reaction? You have only one thought...yourself. Before true recovery can begin, you must look outside of yourself. Analyze this happening in a very cold and methodical way:
Is this something you can change? If so, do it.
If you cannot change it, can you ease the burden on others? Are you willing to put forth that effort? Are you strong enough? Self-less enough?
Who are the people involved in this?
What is the worst possible outcome of this occurrence?
Is there something good that can evolve?
Most important of all, don't stuff your emotions, reactions and fears inside. Bring them to the full light of day. Examine the situation and your reaction to it. Deal with it! Acknowledge it! Confront it! Once you have admitted to yourself that this is real, you are ready to progress to the next quadrant on the Grief Wheel.
Next time: Anger