Before We Begin
You have found your way to these pages because of a feeling in your spirit that something is not quite right; that life could be better; that something is missing, or out of kilter. You're absolutely right. What is it? You...the way you think of yourself....the way you treat yourself....and the way you allow others to treat you! If Re-Creating You is to work for you, and if you are sincere about wanting to change your life, you must first make a serious commitment to begin at the beginning, with yourself.
Until we can learn to accept ourselves, respect ourselves, and love ourselves, there is really nothing we can do to improve our lives. You see, we just don't believe that we "deserve" it. This is a view of ourselves that has been learned from others. We're born happy and whole. From there, it's a gradual and insidious tearing down of our personal spirits. It begins when we're so young we don't know what's happening. As we grow, it doesn't take long for us to join in this destructive behavior.
Learning to accept ourselves is the first step. This is very difficult, and is going to take concentrated effort because we have become very skilled at beating ourselves up. The change in our view of ourselves begins with very subtle, and very small adjustments. When you make a mistake, instead of saying "Boy, was I dumb", try "Boy, that was a dumb thing to do." See the difference? The focus is shifted away from "I" to the "thing" we did. OK. So we did a dumb thing. So? Did the earth shake? We learned what *not* to to, so let's do it again another way.
Equally important is telling ourselves when we do something that pleases us. We never do, and we have an equally hard time accepting praise from others. That must stop as well. No matter what the task may be, if you do it well and it pleases you, tell yourself that. "Gee. I really did a good job on that." It's going to take a lot of practice to learn to praise yourself, but it must be done. It's part of the subtle changes in the acceptance of the self. It doesn't matter what it may be: from cooking to sewing to helping someone out...the "thing" itself doesn't matter. What does matter is that you acknowledge to yourself something that was well done.
Another equally important phase of self-acceptance is little personal rewards. Nothing big and elaborate or expensive. Just a little reward that is just for yourself alone. No one else. Anything that gives pleasure from a new tie to a walk alone. Just for you. Your reward.
We are so good at criticizing ourselves that it's become second nature. It's such a part of our thought process and behavior patterns that it's going to take a lot of effort to recognize what we're doing. Each time you find yourself following that same old path, stop. Make a deliberate effort to examine what you're thinking or saying. Then find a way to turn it into a positive, or to change the focus away from the self. Each time you're able to do this, don't forget to give yourself a reward. As you become more aware and more alert, you'll find that it's no longer necessary to belittle yourself. You'll begin to recognize it in others, and no longer allow that to influence your own opinion of who and what you are.
From the article before, we have seen how thoughts are the things that create our reality. Only you can control those thoughts. Only you act on them. When you begin to accept yourself, you'll see what a truly wonderful person you are. You'll be kinder to yourself. You'll respect yourself. You're on the way to really "Re-Creating You". You deserve a Really Big Reward. :D
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