The Shadow Walker
There
is not one of us who has not been taken in by a Shadow Walker. What is
this thing that causes so much distress in our lives?
A Shadow Walker is a person who wears many masks (we shall use the
empirical "he" here; not to denote gender, but for simplicity). He is the
person who oozes charm to everyone he meets. He offers help and assistance,
support, loving kindness. He is the perfect good will ambassador with lofty
ideals, great concern for the welfare of mankind and a deep belief in the
brotherhood of all people. What a wonderful person! You get to know him.
You relax around him, begin to rely upon his word and his judgment. You
confide in him about your work, your family life and the most personal
aspects of yourself. He is your friend. He would do anything for you. You
trust him. He is not real. It is a mask he wears in public that has nothing
to do with the reality of who he is.
The Shadow Walker will take all your confidences and use them against
you. He begins to gossip about you. He twists your words to use to his
own best advantage. He makes false accusations about you and, because everyone
knows what a wonderful and caring person he is, he is believed. He steals
your thoughts, words, and the plans you may have shared with him, and makes
them his own. He takes full credit while laughing at you for being a fool.
You have been betrayed. He takes advantage of every good thing he has learned
about you, and then turns his back on you. He is finished with you. You
have nothing more for him to take. He moves on to his next mark, oozing
charm and self confidence.
The Shadow Walker is dangerous. He has destroyed marriages, stolen
lives, cost some their jobs, and driven some to violence, alcoholism, drug
abuse, or suicide. More often than not, the Shadow Walker is the product
of an environment which battered his own view of himself until he was convinced
that he had no value. His self esteem and feelings of personal value and
self worth have been virtually destroyed. At some point, he has learned
to lie, to steal, to manipulate and to "con" in order to create an image
of the person he considers successful. He does this by absorbing the heart,
spirit and essence of those he admires but can never be. Nothing is beyond
him, and nothing is sacred to him. He has learned how to create the mask
that will give him access to people he considers valuable to him. He actively
searches them out. He uses them up — and throws them away.
How do you fight a Shadow Walker? You can't. Once you have been chosen
as his mark, everything you do will be used against you. If you speak out
against him, you will only arouse sympathy in others for him. If you try
to fight him, they will defend him. He is a master at his game, and you
don't even know the rules. The natural reaction is to strike back in anger
and righteous indignation. The need for revenge is strong. You have been
betrayed at every level of your being, and the hurt you feel is intense.
Sometimes, a financial loss may also be involved. If there is legal action
you can take, then take it and leave the details of the battle to others.
I have worked with many people who have suffered at the hands of
such deceivers. The only way to effectively deal with a Shadow Walker is
to distance yourself, cut your losses, learn your lesson, and walk away.
Rebuild your own dignity and value as a human being. Don't allow your feelings
against the Shadow Walker to alter your dealings with other honorable and
ethical people. Control the impulse to be overly suspicious and distrustful
of everyone. It's a natural survival instinct after such an experience,
but remember what life was like before the Shadow Walker. You are a good
and honorable person. This is the belief and attitude that will carry you
through the ordeal. Be strong, for you walk in the light. Namaste.